The next few months were a nightmare – I was not improving at all – I could barely move, my poor husband was working all day and then looking after our kids (they were 12 & 16 years old), the house, etc. Although I had always been a typical “type A” personality…with a high stress job (advertising sales manager), being very involved at the kid’s school, and keeping a nice home, I also knew the importance of taking good care of myself. I ate right, got up at 5:30 every morning to spend 30 minutes on the treadmill, and took lots of vitamins. I just didn’t understand how this could happen to someone who was doing all the right things.

During this 6 month period I tried various supplements and herbs. I even tried some Chinese herbs that were recommended by a friend who had a similar problem and had helped him. Unfortunately they didn’t help me, and in fact that was when I started having problems with dizziness. I stopped the herbs, but the symptoms remained.

After about 6 months of visiting different doctors and trying anything I could think of, I was diagnosed by an Infectious Disease doctor as having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I was almost happy – at least I had a diagnosis and knew what I was dealing with, or so I thought. I figured if I followed his advice to rest, eat well, and be patient, that I would be fine in a short time.

Unfortunately the months went by and I wasn’t getting any better. I became extremely sensitive to everything – supplements, foods, smells, noise – with symptoms such as heart palpitations, dizziness, weakness, and fatigue. Life as I had known it no longer existed, and the wife and mother who had boundless energy and enthusiasm for life, was replaced by a person who couldn’t walk from one end of the house to the other. As hard as this was for me to deal with, I knew it was equally difficult for my husband and kids. But I remained determined and continued to search for answers - though a combination of alternative treatments and conventional medicine. I met with every kind of doctor there is…cardiologists, neurologists, endocrinologists, every “gist” you can think of, along with any internal medicine doctor or alternative practitioner who I heard was good. It was discouraging to be told over and over that they didn’t have any answers for me, or to find that the recommended treatments actually made me worse...but I felt if I kept on searching I would find my way back to health and well-being.

After about 2 years things seemed to have stabilized and I was starting to feel like all of my efforts were paying off – my energy level was improved, I wasn’t as weak, and I had better stamina. Even the headaches, digestive disorders, and food and chemical sensitivities seemed to have lessened. That is until August of 1998 when I had to have a root canal done. The next two years are a bit of a blur, but essentially after I had the root canal I was dizzy 24/7 and became virtually bedridden because of it. This triggered my CFS symptoms, so basically I was weak, unbelievably fatigued, nauseous, dizzy, and sensitive to just about everything…I felt so awful that I would lay in bed and pray that if I wasn’t going to get any better, that I would die. I can remember my daughter sitting in a chair in my bedroom trying to cheer me up by telling me what was going on in her life. Just listening to her voice required more energy than I could muster, but the worst part was when I would look into her eyes and see the sadness and fear. This was a horrible time, but I had two kids and a husband I loved and I refused to accept this as my fate. I somehow managed to go from doctor to doctor, this time Ear, Nose & Throat specialists, trying to find the cause of the dizziness, as the internal medicine doctorss were stumped. Each ENT had a different opinion and negated what the previous doctor had said…my diagnosis ran from nerve damage, to BPPV (loose ear crystals), to a fistula, to Meniere’s disease. I tried treatments for almost all of these, along with physical therapy, and though some provided minor relief, I was still suffering terribly. The next several years were like a yo-yo, up and down, but never back to that ever-elusive place I vaguely remembered called “wellness”.

Not once did I ever stop looking for answers. I have tried more alternative therapies and supplements than I can ever possibly count or remember. I have been to so many doctors I stopped keeping track of them years ago. I’ve read books, listened to CD’s, DVD’s, did research at the library and on the computer – basically I did anything and everything I could think of to find the cure I was so desperately seeking. How I was able to do this…to keep searching, to wake up each morning with the hope that this would be the day I would find the answers I needed, I really don’t know. I do know that I owe much of it to the love and support of my family, especially my husband – a loving and wonderful man who stood by my side through it all, who never gave up on me and who never once complained about the extra burden that my illness placed on his shoulders. I have also been blessed with an inner strength and optimism that never allows me to give up, or give in – and for that I thank my father who always made me feel that I was capable of doing anything.

I believe it was sheer will and determination that brought me through 9 long years of difficulty and suffering. I am also a very stubborn person and refused to accept that I had to live life as a weak, dizzy, tired being. I continued to wake up every morning filled with hope that today was the day another piece of the puzzle would present itself, and I would take another step forward.

A little over a year ago I was working with an alternative medicine practitioner who said something that planted the seed that was about to change my life…we were discussing the conflict I had over whether or not I believed in God and I told him that although I wanted to, I wasn’t really sure God existed. He felt that this conflict could be a part of what was holding me back from healing, because for the physical body to heal you must also heal the spirit. He suggested that if I wanted to believe in God it was really just a matter of choice to do so. I was intrigued by the suggestion that one could actually just decide to think something and it would be so. He then asked me to chat with a gal in his office who had a strong spiritual faith and who he felt would have greater insight into this. I called her the next day and the first thing she said to me after I shared a bit of my story was “if you keep doing the same things, you are going to continue to get the same results”. This stopped me in my tracks – I thought I was always trying new things, but I realized that although the faces of the doctors or alternative therapists I saw were different, as were the labels on the supplements, it was essentially the same cycle of looking outside of myself for answers. Next she told me that if I opened myself to God and asked him to show me the way that He would reveal to me all that I needed. I explained why this was a conflict for me, and her reply was, “well then ask God to reveal himself to you in such a way that you will have no doubt about His existence”. I was at the point where I was willing to try anything and so that is what I did. I also figured I had nothing to lose if I followed the rest of her advice, which was:
1. Create an atmosphere and environment of healing around your life.
2. Seek what gives you peace.
3. Make a new recording to play when you are feeling bad.
4. Remind yourself over and over, “My promise is I am whole and healthy. I am whole and a woman of purpose”.
5. When feeling bad talk to the symptom, “Stupid symptom you have no hold on my life! You don’t have control! I am putting my foot down – I refuse to go there.”
6. Good things will come to those who diligently seek Him.

It all sounded pretty silly to me, but I was desperate and nothing else was helping, so I figured I would give it a try. And so I created a relaxing, calming space in my bedroom where I could sit and meditate, listen to music and just feel peaceful and safe. I started to address what I was feeling and deal with it, instead of trying to suppress and ignore it. And I kept myself open to the possibility that God was there and would guide me as to what it was I needed to do to move forward in my life.

Here’s the point in the story where I would like to tell you that I was struck by lightening or some miracle occurred and that I woke up completely healed and all in my life is now perfect. The results of opening myself to a new way of thinking and new possibilities has not been quite as dramatic as that…but I can tell you that amazing things did start to happen – I discovered Dr. Wayne Dyer whose CD set, “The Essence of Being in Balance” was life-changing in a wonderful way. I have since listened to most of his lectures and his words have opened up new doors and new opportunities for me. I have met several very special people (cranio-sacral and acupuncture therapists) who have guided me and helped me to open myself to amazing new possibilities. Bob, Kristi, Tammy, Kira, Shelley and Charlene I give thanks every day for the blessing of having you come into my life. And to Dr. Dawson for working on my C-1 misalignment (Atlas Subluxation Complex) which has been helpful in relieving some of my dizziness!

I am stronger, more balanced, more energized, more confident than I have been in 10 years, perhaps even more so than I have been in my entire life. Because doors have opened that I didn’t even know existed. Not only is my physical body growing stronger, but my spirit has been awakened and I feel a sense of connection that I never knew before.

The truth is I don’t view this as the end of my story, but rather the beginning. I know that anything is possible, that all of the answers and cures that I had been searching for were right here all along – within me. I know there is a Higher Power who will guide you if you ask. I also know that we are all connected – there is a part of our Source within all of us – and that in the life we are living there are no accidents, there is a purpose to it all…the good and the bad. I have come to terms with my occasional feelings of doubt and uncertainty, and view this as a part of human nature – it is natural to question and to be unsure. All that really matters is that you find the courage and faith to try again one more time, to continue on despite the obstacles that may be standing in your way.

This website is dedicated to all of the wonderful people who offered me hope when I didn't have any, to those who stood by me even on the darkest of days, and to all of you I may never meet, but whose story is much like mine …your answers are out there and when the time is right you will find them. And when difficulties and challenges knock at your door remember that brighter and better days are just around the corner. –Andrea

January 2008
I am frequently asked about the current status of my health, and since it has been a year since I first wrote My Story, I decided to post this update:

This year has been full of challenges, the latest of which is a blood clot condition that developed last summer. I have not followed the traditional medical pattern of resolving this issue with use of blood thinner medications, and I seem to be forming clots even when on the medication. The doctors have been stumped as to why or how this has happened, leaving me with no definitive answers, but I have choosen to have faith that this will all resolve itself exactly the way it is meant to. Actually it has not been difficult for me to find the blessing of this situation, as one of the benefits of the treatment for the clots, Coumadin (a blood thinner), seems to have had a very positive side effect, and has helped to increase my energy levels.

At the same time I have also been dealing with my mother's rapidly declining health due to Alzheimer's Disease, which has been both emotionally and physically draining. Although it has been very difficult to watch, it has also provided the opportunity to bring my mother and I closer than we have ever been before. This situation has also been a blessing in that is has reminded me how important it is to make the most of each and every day that we have been given.

Now more than ever, I am so grateful for all of the people I have met and the techniques I have learned that have enabled me to navigate these difficult situations without the health consequences I would have previously expected. I make an effort each day to support my body, mind, and spirit, by using all of the tools I have been blessed to discover: EFT to deal with the emotions, relaxation and meditation to keep me balanced and focused, eating right and exercising to keep myself as fit as possible, and most of all to keep my expectations positive and to live in gratitude for all that is right in my life. (See My Healing Journey - The Lessons That Saved My Life at the bottom of the Heal With Hope Homepage)

I think the greatest revelation of all this last year is coming to terms with the fact that life isn't always easy - it is sometimes difficult and disappointing. I am now able to accept these times as a part of the natural rhythm of life - there are ups and downs, highs and lows...and just because this moment is challenging does not mean that the next one will be. I better understand that there is a lesson in all of it - and if I keep putting one foot in front of the other, I eventually find my way to a better place.

I am filled with optimism as I know this next year will be filled with new discoveries, new opportunities, and more amazing experiences. I hope and pray that I continue to find all that is mine to know and do...and that you do, too.

To be notified when updates have been posted to Heal With Hope,
or to submit questions and comments email me: andrea@healwithhope.com