October 2008 Mark Petroff
Five Important Questions
If you found yourself awaking in a car on the side of a road with amnesia, you would likely want to find the answers to several crucial questions:
- Who are you?
- Where are you now?
- What are you here to do?
- Where do you want to go?
- What will it take to get there?
As the amnesia disappears perhaps you realize that you are a dedicated family-oriented partner, and you are on a safe road next to Hwy. 70 in the middle of Kansas at noon. You are en-route to Denver for a family celebration which starts at 7 pm. You surmise that it will take another 5 hours and a fresh tank of gas to get you there. With this clarity, you easily find a place to fill up, finish your journey, and arrive to experience a wonderful time. Clarity sure makes life easier, doesn’t it? Whenever you find yourself pressured, dazed, or confused by what life has thrown you, try coaching yourself with the above questions. The answers to these questions will help you find your way again.
Who are you?
In order to solve your challenges and to journey well, you may need to be in better touch with the core nature of who you are. Positive changes always start with awareness. So who are you? Not what do you do or have, but what is your essence? What is so meaningful to you that you don’t want to compromise it? What ignites your joy and passion? What values make you feel like you are honoring yourself? By clarifying your values you can re-align with who you are. What do you value: beauty, honesty, or love? The qualities you deem most important act as your steering wheel when you are making decisions that affect the course of your life. Without defining them, you may be easily swayed off course or stalled by distractions or challenges on the road of life.
Where are you now?
In order to improve the quality of your life, you will benefit by getting totally honest about where you are now. Most people have a vague sense of where they are. “My money situation is not good,” gives clues, but is still fuzzy. Clarity would be defining the details of your income, expenses, debt, assets, resources, and options available to you. “My love life sucks” is also vague. A more honest assessment might be: “I’ve been seeing a disinterested unemployed ‘friend with benefits’ for 6 months, I feel unfulfilled and out of integrity, and need to learn more about solid relationships.” Knowing where you are, including the environment you are surrounded by, gives you a huge advantage in moving toward where you’d rather be.
What are you here to do?
Your purpose for going to the mall may be to shop for dress pants or to see the new movie. Most people know why they are headed to the mall much more than they know why they are going through life. My guess is that maybe one in ten people can clearly state what their life purpose is. “I want to be happy” sounds good on the surface, but isn’t that a result or a pleasurable state of being rather than a reason why one is here? Your purpose is what makes you come alive, fulfills your soul-yearning, and what makes you feel like the Universe is on your side. Purpose is what gives you motivation and the ability to focus your energy to overcome obstacles you will face in reaching for your goals.
What are you here to do? Your purpose goes with you everywhere. Even if you become unconscious of it, you can quickly shift back into alignment with it, once you know what it is and have written it down. Without clearly knowing what your purpose is, you may work endlessly to achieve a goal only to find out that it doesn’t satisfy you or that it was not in alignment with what you are really about.
From our road trip example above, if you didn’t know why you were traveling, you could have just as easily stayed in the car (i.e, stuck, going nowhere), headed the wrong way (i.e., had a destination or goal that truly doesn’t serve you), or never have gone to Denver (i.e., not fulfilled your heart desires). Your purpose is vital for you to achieve lasting results and experience a fulfilling quality of life—one that is energized by motivation and soulfulness. There are times when it may be helpful to receive feedback from a friend, partner, counselor, or life coach, so you can re-align with your purpose and inner truth.
Where do you want to go?
Knowing that your destination is a green two-story house on 21 Elm St. in Denver makes it a lot easier to get there than if you just knew you were headed to a house somewhere in North America, or a building where fun parties take place. Sure there may be interesting or enticing detours that are offered to us, but pain, suffering, and loss tend to come from ‘places’ that do not resonate with who we are, our purpose for being here, and where our heart really wants us to be. Spontaneity can be wonderful. You can still have spontaneity and not have to be in conflict with your values, purpose, and vision. No matter what happens you stand a much better chance of winding up where you want to go if you know where you’re headed. Without a vision people tend to wander through life aimlessly or remain fenced in by undesirable boundaries. As you clarify your vision, you may find that it is different than where you or others think you should go. Whatever you come up with, know that your heart-desires and vision will lead you towards freedom.
What will it take to get there?
The better strategy and route you have put in place, the more likely you will succeed in your destination or vision. Granted, you could hitchhike to Denver, have a fun time along the way, and still make it to the celebration by 7:00. But, you might not get a ride, suffer heat exhaustion, go hungry, and miss the party entirely, which still can give you ‘valuable lessons’—if you truly want those kinds of experiences and lessons. The point is that along your journey you will have needs and face obstacles. If you have a clear idea of what your needs will be ahead of time, you will more gracefully achieve your vision. Journaling can be a good way to help expose how you operate and what may be in your way. Your obstacle could be a person, place, or thing. It may be an attitude, perception, habit, or belief system. Exposing these allows you to design strategies to better navigate them. Your natural excellence will tend to emerge when what’s in the way is modified or removed. Then you can successfully wind up where your heart originally wanted to take you.
There is a way to move through life with a more awakened heart. Asking and listening for the answers to these five important questions can be a beneficial way to journey. Peace and blessings to you.
Mark Petroff is a Certified Coach supporting clients wanting to evolve in consciousness to live their values and remove distractions, so they can attract the relationships and quality of life their heart desires. For more information go to: www.LifeCoachMark.com