July 2008 Kris Bercov

Love Yourself into Health

I was looking at a new book on healing the other day and opened to a page about the hazards of eating meat. But my book on eating for your blood type says meat is an absolute must for me. So there you go.

Once again I have joined the ranks of the “What do I do now?” contingency. Once again my health is up for grabs by the latest healer, doctor, health advisor, scientific study, brochure in a health food store, news flash on the radio, latest health advice from a friend, the list goes on.

“Listen to your body,” my acupuncturist says. Unfortunately, my body is just as confused as I am. In the end, it’s just at the mercy of my confused mind. For years I’ve been blaming my body for its aches and pains, carrying it to healers of one sort or another to fix it, and wishing I could go to the body store and order a newer, more functional model, when the truth is it’s as innocent as a newborn babe.

It’s a good body, actually, because it listens. It listens all the time to all the confused gibberish I feed it. All advertisements about vitamins, herbs, drugs, etc., should read: Warning: Anything said here could be hazardous to your mental (thus, physical) health depending on how you interpret it.

And if you’re a first-class hypochondriac like me, and you read that a supplement could do something bad to you, by god it will! (Don’t you just love those television commercials for drugs where people smile at you while telling you that this drug can rot your liver, or damage your kidney, or, the best yet, even kill you? If an alien from another planet stopped in and happened to watch television for an hour or two, he would conclude: a. these are really sick people here and b. these people get really excited about bad things happening to their bodies!)

What I’m saying here is that nothing will hurt your health more than fear and confusion. Although it may not be true that your body believes every word you say (there is actually a book out called Your Body Believes Every Word You Say,) it’s certainly going to be influenced by what you are thinking.

Spiritual teacher Byron Katie says that it is our diseased thinking that we really need to work with (let your body be your doctor’s business, she says)--all the things we believe without even questioning them. Since mind and body are a whole, how could we not be affected by the things we tell ourselves?

I have also realized that my repeated visits to healers were continuing to give my body the message that there was something wrong with it--and as I investigated further, I uncovered a deep well of self-hatred that was fueling all my efforts.

Think about it. If your “healing quest” is motivated by a message that says you aren’t okay, then anything you do to “improve” yourself can only go so far. Our bodies are really brilliant messengers. So if you keep trying to fix yourself and you aren’t getting better--or, if one thing gets better and then another symptom pops up, it may be time to look behind the scenes.

Most of us carry a pretty heavy dose of self-loathing, but we are usually spending our time trying to compensate for it. Why do you think we work so hard to be successful at our jobs, or make a lot of money, or turn ourselves into a more likable person or find the perfect partner--or even to improve our physical health.

Somehow we believe those things will make up for our own deficiencies. If we can only look good (or get healthier) then maybe we’ll feel good inside. It’s a great plan. It just doesn’t work--at least not for more than five minutes.

Nothing can make up for our lack of self-love…and nothing will give it to us outside of our own willingness to do the work of uncovering it. In other words, it’s an inside job.

So rather than spending your time trying to decide which health regime to follow, find out first what’s motivating your quest. When in doubt, learn to love yourself first. Your body will love you for it.

Kris Bercov, M.A.,L.M.H.C, is a licensed mental health counselor in Winter Park, Florida who has been helping people heal their hurts and open to their authentic selves for over thirty years. She currently specializes in The Work of Byron Katie--a process for clearing beliefs that cause stress and keep us from being the best of who we are. She does this work both in her office and on the telephone. You can visit her website at www.pathtoinnerfreedom.com.